Journal
04 / Film note5 min read

What we carry.
A film for Johan.

A music video for my friend Johan. From Rotterdam to the sands near Kootwijk, carrying memories, loss and a trust in God that remains.

RETURN illustration of Johan in a dark coat carrying a small wooden case beside the river in Rotterdam, with the Erasmus bridge and skyline beyond
An illustrated scene from the film: Johan beside the river in Rotterdam, carrying the case whose meaning is still out of sight.
01

A film for a friend.

I made this music video for my friend Johan van Iperen, for his song Your love amazes me. Making something together is a lovely part of our friendship. This time, the images also had to carry something deeply personal: the loss of his daughter, and the trust in God he has held onto through that pain.

We begin in Rotterdam. Johan carries a small wooden case through the city, with the river and bridge around him. You see the case before you understand it. Where is he taking it? What is inside? I wanted to give those questions time, so that the object could quietly travel with him.

The film moves from the city to the sand drifts near Kootwijk. There is a real change of home behind that movement. Johan and his family moved from Rotterdam to Apeldoorn. The landscape near Kootwijk is now his playground: a different place to walk, find space and be outside.

Your love amazes me — Johan van Iperen. The music video I made for my friend.
Watch on YouTube ↗
02

My father, in the frame.

I filmed with a Nikon Z6II and old Minolta lenses that belonged to my father. Working with those lenses made this more than a choice of equipment. I was looking through something he had used, making new images with objects that already carried a history.

The fountain pen and the small case Johan carries were my father’s too. They gave his belongings a place inside the film itself. One behind the camera, others in front of it. For me, there is comfort in that continuity. I believe my father is watching from heaven, enjoying what we are making.

It matters to me that these are real objects. Their meaning was there before we started filming. Bringing them into Johan’s story connected our friendship with a part of my own life, without needing to explain everything on screen.

Hands holding a fountain pen above an open notebook in a film still
My father’s fountain pen. A small object with a history that reaches beyond the frame.
Johan sitting on a bench beside the river with his wooden case at his hand
A moment beside the river. Johan, the case and the city he once called home.
03

A change of surroundings.

Rotterdam and Kootwijk give the journey two very different surroundings. Along the river there are buildings, structures and the presence of a city. In the sand, there is room around a single person. The change of scene follows Johan’s move while also giving the story a different pace.

I used a DJI Mini 2 for the aerial images. From above, the landscape lets you see Johan within a much larger space. The photograph of him walking across the sand, case in hand, holds something I like about the whole film: a simple action, and enough room for the viewer to stay with it.

The camera, the old lenses and the drone each had a role. I enjoy that combination: current equipment alongside something inherited, used to tell a story that belongs to the people involved. The choice of tools becomes meaningful through the images you make with them.

Aerial view of Johan walking with the case across pale sand near Kootwijk, pine trees along the edge
The sand drifts near Kootwijk. Johan’s new surroundings, seen from above with the DJI Mini 2.
04

A pink balloon.

The next part describes the ending of the clip. If you would like to discover it through the film first, watch the video above before reading on.

Eventually, we see what Johan has been carrying. Inside the case is a pink balloon: a tribute to his daughter, who has died. What began as a question about an object becomes a much more personal moment.

I wanted to give that moment space. A balloon is such a small, recognisable thing, but here it carries the love and memory of a daughter. Knowing what it means changes how you look back at the journey and the case that has been with Johan all along.

The song is about his trust in God. Despite the pain of losing his daughter, that trust has remained. I wanted the film to sit alongside that conviction, with enough openness for the images and music to be felt together.

A pink balloon above the sandy landscape and pine trees near Kootwijk
The pink balloon. A tribute to Johan’s daughter.
05

A trust I recognise.

I live alongside Johan’s story as his friend. I carry my own story too. Our lives are different, but I recognise the conviction at the heart of this song. I cannot lose my trust in God, because I cannot deny Him.

That is personal to me. It does not remove the pain or make every question easy to answer. It is a trust that stays with me, including when I do not know how things will unfold. Making this film gave me a way to be close to Johan, to his music and to something we both hold dear.

When I look at these images, I see our friendship, my father’s belongings, a change of home and the memory of a daughter. I am grateful Johan trusted me to help tell this story. Those are the things I wanted to carry into the film.

Behind the camera
Nikon Z6II
The camera I used for the music video.
Vintage Minolta lenses
Lenses inherited from my father.
DJI Mini 2
Used for aerial images of the landscape.